The Weakling Me

I wish to be strong but I’ll admit that I’m weak which turned a one week break into almost three weeks. At the end of October, I wanted to take a one week break from blogging but I unexpectedly fell sick the following week when I was supposed to return.

I had fever, cough and a few other flu symptoms. I was working on the day I fell sick, making work a disaster for me. The constant throwing up phlegm was irritating because it kept interrupting my work. Luckily, I was only working half day so I managed to endure and went out with mom after work. I didn’t felt feverish at that time, so I thought I could at least go out for awhile. My mom doesn’t know I was unwell and since she was coming to pick me from work to go out, I didn’t inform her about being unwell.

We went for lunch and shopping afterwards as usual. It was while we were shopping that I started to feel really sick. I was drowsy and sleepy, all I wanted to do was lay in bed. So I told my mom I needed to go home.

I took my temperature when we were home and found out I was having fever. My mom gave me medication that were useless. The fever did subside but came back later. It was worst the next morning, I still had fever and my cough and phlegm were so bad until my voice was very hoarse.

After seeing the doctor that morning, I spent that day and next 2 days sleeping almost the whole day to rest and recover. When I was feeling better after the 3 days, my mom told me I shouldn’t be cooping up at home and that going out for some fresh air will make me recover faster. So I went out for lunch and a bit of shopping to buy something. Lunch was terrible, not the food but how I was feeling. As I was eating, I suddenly felt so sick I wanted to go home but I endured. It was probably the hot weather that was making me feel sick because I felt better when I went to a shopping mall later. Although I felt better, I still didn’t go out for long.

I was working the next 3 days which was tough. Although my mom kept telling me not to go to work, I chose to go to work. Luckily, I only had to work half day on all 3 days. I don’t know if it was because of work but my sickness became worst and I was feeling drowsy and sleepy all day again. I endured work but I went straight home after work and was in bed for the rest of the day.

For the next 2 days, I spent almost the whole day sleeping. During these 2 days, I kept thinking about playing sims and returning to blogging but I didn’t have the mood or energy. I felt depressed at times, thinking why am I taking so long to recover, why can’t I recover faster so I can get back into my usual routine and not feel it’s a chore to do something. Although I was still coughing and having lots of phlegm, I was less drowsy and sleepy after the 2 days.

My mom took care of me throughout these 2 weeks and fell sick as well but instead of sleeping all day, she seemed so active everyday. Besides going to work as usual, she could also go out and do the housework. Although she kept telling me to be active, go out or do some housework, I just can’t.

I suppose that’s the difference, she’s strong and I’m weak. Throughout my story above, there are a few signs that showed how weak I am.

1. I slept a lot

I spent most of the two weeks of being sick sleeping all day cause I was constantly drowsy and sleepy. Although my mom did sleep because of the medication and rest is essential for recovery, she doesn’t spent the whole day sleeping. She only slept for an hour or two after taking her medication, then she’s up and about doing household chores or going out.

2. I can’t handle being uncomfortable

With some discomfort, everything I do became so tough. Work was tough although I eventually endured but given a choice, I chose to not do anything at home because of the discomfort I was feeling. Even after I felt better, less drowsy and sleepy, I still chose not to do much because I was still feeling uncomfortable.

3. I’m moody

I felt depressed about having to lay in bed all day and not being able to do anything because I’ve no energy and wasn’t feeling the mood. I kept thinking about recovering faster although I know very well from past experiences that I never recover fast. Even up till now as I’m writing this post, I’ve not fully recovered but I’m much better with my energy and mood. Although I’m feeling much better, I’m still not able to get back into my normal routine and productivity because my energy drains quickly.

I suppose my regular lifestyle does instil this weakness in me. I’ll admit that I don’t have an active lifestyle and my mom does live an active lifestyle which is the reason she’s so much stronger than I am although both of us are sick. I’ve always tried to incorporate more active activities into my day but this shows that I’m not being active enough. Recently I’ve been making a few changes to my lifestyle to live healthily and positively and becoming more active is definitely another change for a healthier life.

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